Congratulations to all those brainy youngsters…


gaining a record-breaking number of A-levels!

I hope the teenagers at my local swimming pool, who provided considerable excitement and entertainment for their fellow swimmers this evening, also go on to excel academically.

If there’s an A-level in Ignoring-repeated-requests-to-stop-dive-bombing-into-the-pool-when-casual-swimming-has-stopped-and-lane-swimming-has-begun-thus-provoking-the-life-guards-into-pressing-the-emergency-alarm-and-ordering-an-evacuation-of-the-entire-pool-and-then-responding-to-their-firm-instructions-to-leave-the-pool-immediately-with-a-barrage-of-F*** YOUs-and-acting-in-a-generally-delinquent-manner then these young boys and girls are guaranteed grade A results, I can tell you!


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